Becky Kluckner, today’s guest writer, shares the story of her diagnosis of Sjogren’s syndrome and how she copes.
She, her mother, and sister write “Life on Sixth Street,” a Christian family lifestyle website. Emily contributed in May and her mother in June.
The story begins
After years of random, uncomfortable symptoms like dry eyes, dry skin, and unexplainable pains that gradually increasingly worsened, enough that they couldn’t be ignored, I finally saw a rheumatologist when in my late twenties, who told me I had Sjogren’s.
Sjogren’s? What was Sjogren’s? I had never heard of it before. After a lot of visits to “Dr. Google,” it seemed to be just some mysterious label that didn’t mean a whole lot to me at the time, besides explaining my strange symptoms. At the time of diagnosis, I had recently graduated from college with an English Education degree and was a stay-at-home mom of 2 young children and I “didn’t have time” to be sick. A blessing is that my symptoms stayed mild, and I could push them to the backburner more easily than so many others with autoimmune issues. The downside has been that although I feel sick sometimes, I don’t look sick.
My life continues
In between different times of staying home with my children until they went to school, I always seemed to be able to find work as a special education teacher’s aide. The first time I found myself in that position I was working part time as a substitute teacher, but quickly found myself signing on full-time when a church friend who happened to be a principal was desperate for help. Although the job sometimes has its difficulties, it allows me to work while my kids are in school without so much of the added responsibilities of teaching.
I always told myself the job was just temporary, and that I would go on to fulfill my original dream of teaching high school English one day when my kids got older. However, now I honestly don’t know if I have the stamina to keep up with all the paperwork, extra duties, and classroom management needed these days.
The longer time went by neither doing my original dream job nor being able to be a stay-at-home mom, the sadder I got. I loved being a stay-at-home mom, but my family really needed two incomes. Working as an aide, I thought I was in some ways wasting my talent, my degree I worked so hard to obtain, and part of my life because this wasn’t what I set out to do. I wanted to be a teacher or stay home and do my best to take care of my family, but I wasn’t doing either of those things. Being an elementary teacher’s aide wasn’t God’s plan for me, was it?
God’s leadings
There’s a verse that I found myself drawn to when I would start sinking into the feelings of my life’s plans going awry or when I didn’t feel appreciated or respected enough by those around me.
Colossians 3:23 says, “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men.”
So, I take that as whatever you do, do it for God and as long as you’re doing that, don’t worry so much about what others think. That could be a problem because I’m a people pleaser, big time.
Well, what can I do for the Lord? What do I have to share with the world that will benefit Him all while dealing with the different issues in my life?
I’ve learned that when I seek to put the focus on pleasing and honoring God with everything I do, from the mundane to vastly important tasks, then every single thing I do for others has a much greater purpose. It brings greater satisfaction and reward in my own life because it is for His glory. Of course, I am going to be disappointed and unhappy at times when I try to find my self-worth or place my happiness in the hands of other imperfect people.
If everything I do has important, eternal consequences, then it doesn’t really matter that I get paid less than my coworkers, that I didn’t do the exact things I set out as an 18-year-old to do, or what others think of me.
When every task is for God, more effort, love, and joy will flow out of me in completing it. Contemplating how God sees me and uses me is extremely freeing. I just have to remember to see that every day, which is sometimes still difficult.
Reasons for thankfulness
- I can try to begin every day by being thankful God always gave my family and me what we needed when we needed it.
- I have a loving husband and kids who, even when they may not understand how I feel or all my symptoms, are supportive and some of my greatest blessings. They keep me moving forward.
- I have a sister with multiple autoimmune diseases. Although I would never wish that for her, it is a blessing to have someone close to talk to who completely understands what I am dealing with.
- Even if you do not have a good support group around you, I hope that you can find one on social media and through blogs such as this one.
- I try to remember that I am blessed to live in a time and place with easy and cheap access to medicines to ease my symptoms, improving my quality of life.
- I can be thankful that God has given me the gifts of being able to write, listen, and be patient to help coworkers, family, my students, and even strangers see God’s love.
- Sjogren’s cannot take away the kindnesses I can show that God can use for His glory, no matter where I am or what I am doing.
In closing
When we focus on all the things we can be thankful for, then we have little reason to dwell too long on what may not be going according to our plans. I cannot count how many times a new job was offered, a check from church friends came in the mail, or a kind, supportive word was said just when I desperately needed it. I try to pass this on. If I can focus on doing what I can, where God has placed me, while showing God’s love to everyone I come in contact with, that is surely one of the greatest ways to work for the Lord, no matter what the circumstances.
Like Becky Kluckner, our guest writer, do you have a story to share?
