What do you do when bad things get worse?

Do dwellers ever have good days? Most of us do, but maybe only a day here and there. Unfortunately, overall our lives are filled with hard things. Probably most invisibly disabled people also experience worse days—a bad flare, new symptoms, or new diagnosis. So, what do we do when bad turns to worse? What invisible disabilities coping skills do you need?

Ironic

I thought about doing this post because I was getting over an unusual flare, and I thought what I learned (re-learned) might help others. But today, the flare flared worse! Now, I really need to apply these ideas.

My flares usually involve moderate to severe back muscle spasms which pull and tear. If you've never had spasms or pulled and torn muscles, you aren't familiar with the painful effects. Nor the length of time they take to heal.

This flare started off slow. "Oh, this won't be so bad." Not so. By the second week, I knew I had not escaped this time. I treated it as best I could, even seeing my doc again who increased my meds and referred me for more physical therapy. Since I reacted to the med, so that didn't help. I don't see the PT for two more days.

Thankfully, I began improving anyway – – until today. Now I'm back where I was!

Flares increase pressure for me because of the pain and increased disability. And for Joe since he can only watch me hurt but not help.

It has been two or three years since the last severe flare. The length and other symptoms were unusual. So fear comes in.

Knowledge helps with the fear, and my doc reminded me of things I had forgotten. So the flare makes sense, kind of. But it also makes me wonder about the future.

Pic shows how dystonia distorts my body. Now, it has shifted sides leaning to the right. This change is new and may be reason for flare.

Your "worse" times may not look anything like mine. They may not be as bad, or they may be infinitely worse. But I hope these ideas will help you cope.

If we can improve our coping skills before the "worse" happens, life will be easier to handle. Also, thinking about these things before we are in the heat of the moment enables us to come up with strategies to apply. And if we have them written down (I didn't), then we can just look look them up and get on with getting better again.

Plan ahead

• Start with medical
  • Which doctor will help best with which problem?
  • Research online, if applicable
    • Will you do it beforehand, or at the "worse."
  • Use available helps: medicines, therapies, natural health therapies, etc.
    • This time, I needed to see my physical therapist again.
• Seek counsel
  • Attend local support group, if available.
    • Maybe someone has been through what you are experiencing, or can point you in the right direction to find help.
  • Church personnel, friends, or professional counselors might be needed.
• Have your own personal support network
  • Talk to empathetic friends.
  • Seek prayer.
  • Meditate on calming or affirming thoughts.
    • To combat fear, I use Psalm 34:4, "I sought the Lord, and he answered me. He delivered me from all my fears."
• Focus on the good
  • Start a notebook or Excel file and list as many good memories as you can.
    • These can jumpstart your thoughts away from the pain.
  • Try applying the old saying, "Count your blessings" to your life even in the midst of the "worse" to find even one good thing going on.

So ...

Maybe you already have your own strategies in place. Maybe you use other ideas. If not, have fun starting with these ideas and personalizing your own list for when bad things turn worse. And maybe, you’ll be blessed and not have any more "worse" times!