Coping with invisible disability flare-ups can be a daunting experience. How do you feel when yet again your problems exacerbate? Do you feel like you just can’t go through it again? Or maybe it’s not a flare. Maybe it’s an all-the-time experience. How do you cope?
My 8 year-old granddaughter tripped in front of their fireplace and fell into the glass screen, using her hands to stop herself. While we treated her burned fingers, she wailed in pain, “I can’t go through this.” As adults, we knew she had no choice and that the sooner we treated her burns, the sooner the pain would stop.
The next morning, facing another flare of weakness and pain, I found myself echoing her words, “I can’t go through this again. It’s too hard.” Then I remembered how many times, when another bout of pain hits, I wanted to yell at someone, “I can’t go through this.”
But, like my granddaughter, what choice do I have?
Actually, we do have choices as to how we respond!
Let’s examine our choices and then see what actions we can take to cope.
3 Choices
WRONG!
- Decide not to go through it by ending your life. Suicide is always a bad choice. It’s wrong on so many levels. Please don’t even consider it. See the Suicide Prevention page or call 1-800-273-8255.
Not so good!
- Just take it as it comes. Don’t prepare. Don’t worry about trying to help yourself. Whine to whoever will listen.
Better!
- Realizing that flares are—unfortunately—likely to recur, consider the situations ahead of time and make plans.
Be Proactive
Practically
- Make a plan in advance for those difficult times.
- Be sure to have music, books, movies, stuff to do in bed — whatever you suspect you’ll need — ready to use.
Relationally
- Have talks ahead of time with family/friends to try to help them understand what might happen and how it makes you feel.
- Get in touch—in person, on the phone, or by social media—someone who is an encourager.
Mentally
- If you have the energy and/or concentration level, do something fun.
- Work on a hobby.
- Learn something new.
Emotionally
- Listen to uplifting music.
- Read an encouraging book.
- Don’t listen to things that are discouraging. (For me, that’s the news.)
- Remember that the flare will come to an end.
Spiritually
- Spend time in prayer.
- Hang on tight to God.
Medically
- Manage your meds wisely; be sure you don’t run out.
- Be sure your health records are up-to-date, in case of emergency.
- Keep up with new info about your condition and what to expect.
Wrapping Up
Although coping with invisible disability flare-ups can be daunting and draining, it can be successfully done. We just need to answer: “Yes, I can! I’ve done it before, I can do it again!” Then plan ahead about what you can do to help yourself.
This post grew out of my experience last week: another flare, totally unexpected. And I totally blew it with my attitude, so I knew I needed to go back and work on some skills. It didn't last as long as expected because my PT was able to work her magic.
