Bending Not Breaking

Is it truly possible to gain strength from invisible disabilities? Yes! Take a lesson from the trees. The harder the wood, the more likely it is to break in the wind. The more resilient, the more likely to bend. Wind comes with our storms; let’s learn how to bend.

Notice that the stiffest tree is most easily cracked, while the bamboo or willow survives by bending with the wind.

Bruce Lee*

Bending, not breaking, by crafting?

Can you imagine turning the awfulness of my storms into a positive? Years ago, for one year, my fatigability was so severe I could only be up for 30 minutes at a time. But I had to move around, even if just to sit, so as not to lose even more strength. Alternatively, too much movement caused fatigue which led to injuries.

Just 30 minutes! Housekeeping and meals were not a concern as family and friends helped out. So, what could I do? Crafts? I loved creating crafts, so I broke large projects into small segments. Over time, I finished three large items. I designed, embroidered, and framed an 18×24 “picture” for each of my sons based on a poem the older one wrote. Next, I adapted a plastic canvas design for a box for a friend. Later, I designed and embroidered the 50th anniversary plaque for my parents (see photo).

By using my time to produce gifts, I bent in the winds rather than breaking and giving up. I avoided depression or increased weakness and gained strength from invisible disabilities.

What about you?

Look at your own life and evaluate your strengths and interests to help you bend not break.

Our lives are stormy – there’s no question about that. We have no choice in the matter. However, how we respond is up to us. Like the tree in the wind, we can learn to bend not break. We look at ourselves and our situation and learn flexibility. Then we consider our strengths. We look for elements in our lives that are possible to change. We can make plans to adjust and learn to bend not break.

I share areas from my own life where I have grown, learning to bend. Your list will be different because you and your circumstances are not like mine.

Look back over your life and search for ways it has been enriched by your difficulties and be thankful. More importantly, look forward by evaluating what is and imagining what can be. See where you can gain strength from invisible disabilities.

Results of my choices to bend, not break

• Flexibility
  • Past life: When I started a project, I worked till I finished it.
  • Now: I have learned to segment large jobs, prioritize what’s important, and turn a blind eye when I can’t do something.
  • Advantages:
    • Reduces stress.
    • Helps recognize when the important needs to be set aside to do the essential.
    • Surprisingly, maybe, I accomplish more than could be expected.
• Plan
  • Past life: When I made a plan, I expected to follow it rigidly and often got upset when I couldn’t.
  • Now: I still plan – probably even more – but I have learned to be flexible.
  • Advantages:
    • Again, reduces stress.
    • Reduces stress of those around me!
    • As with flexibility, planning allows me to achieve a lot.
• Empathy
  • Past life: In many areas, I was very empathetic. In all honesty, though, I don’t believe I thought much about people with physical problems.
  • Now: I notice people around me and am more aware of their hurts.
  • Advantages:
    • Hopefully, I encourage others now.
• Closer to God
  • Past life: I grew up a Christian.
  • Now: I experientially know God as an enabler, full of love.
  • Advantages:
    • I am much closer to God and love it.
• Let go
  • Past life: I found it frustrating not to be able to carry out all my plans.
  • Now: I have learned to let go of those things I can no longer do. Or, at least, I’m trying. Grieving necessary for this.
  • Advantages:
    • Peace.
    • Less stress.
    • Able to enjoy the life I have.

Are you ready to investigate how to gain strength from invisible disabilities? If you are successful, you will bend but not break. You will thrive despite your storms.