You Can See Me – But Do You Really?

This invisibly disabled woman hit a roadblock. I could not publish the originally scheduled guest post about long-term care because of technical glitches (caused by me). It will appear later.

So, I have updated a previous post to remind everyone what invisible disabilities are and ways of identifying invisibly disabled people. Meanwhile, I am on vacation enjoying several family celebrations.

Do you see the woman in the grocery aisle? The one in the way because she’s moving so slowly! Do you notice the cousin sitting at his family reunion? He’s always sitting down! Are you aware of a coworker who takes for—-ev—-er to finish her work? Is she lazy! Maybe they are just lazy or uncaring, but just maybe these people have physical reasons for their actions. Reasons others can’t see. And sometimes, these hurting people themselves aren’t seen.

In public, I no longer qualify as "invisibly" disabled as I use a scooter to get places and to sit in when I arrive. If I am walking, I use a cane. However, I still look perfectly healthy. And I'm sure some people wonder why I use these assistive devices.

Still, I feel "invisible." When using the scooter or even the cane, I try to stay out of people's way. But few people make the effort to walk over and say "Hi." I feel as though no one really sees me.

Invisibly disabled people often feel unseen. Because we frequently can’t fully or easily participate in life, we feel invisible to our friends and family. It seems like they forget us. When they do see us, we sometimes sense they don’t truly believe our problems are genuine. Our feelings may not be true, but they seem real.

So … you may see me – but do you really?

Jesus' Example

The master Care-er and a great role model, Jesus, never overlooked people. Neither did He misunderstand them. We can learn much from Him.

Groothuis* observes, “Jesus had a way of seeing what others missed and ministering to those who were forgotten, shunned, or misunderstood. He touched and healed lepers when everyone else scurried away. He cared for those with chronic afflictions – such as congenital blindness and incurable hemorrhage – while others gave up on them. He bestowed hope where others scattered the ashes of despair. He was love Incarnate (John 1:14; 1 John 4:16). We need that character of divine love if we’re to see and minister to the hurts of others.”

Do’s and Dont’s in identifying invisibly disabled people:

• DO ask, if you know the other person well, things like, “How are you feeling today?”
• DO cautiously inquire, if appropriate, “What can I do to help?”
• DON’T interrogate her about her health.
• DO observe.
  •  Is he like this all the time?
  •  Or do you know of other issues in her life: is she tired from working two jobs or having a new baby at home?
• DO listen when he talks, especially if he talks about his limitations.
• DON’T offer unsolicited advice, particularly medical advice (unless you’re a doctor and are familiar with the condition).
• DO accept what she says without judgment.
• DO inform yourself about your friend’s condition.

Above all

Treat us as regular, normal people. Because we are. We have needs similar to yours.

Really see us.

Be a friend.

Offer compassionate help when appropriate.

Like Jesus, be accepting and caring.

More Info

*Following the quote about Jesus, Douglas R. Groothuis, in his article “Seeing Invisible Disabilities,” offers more information about recognizing invisibly disabled people and how to help them.

"What's an Invisible Disability?" presents 7 things to know.

See this post, “Name One Infallible Way …” to learn how to recognize people with invisible disabilities.

Check out Helpful Links for Observers for more information about invisible disabilities.