In-vis-i-ble adj.: impossible to see; hidden; not easily noticed.
Storm caused structural damage to foundations and framework of buildings is often invisible from the outside. The damage requires close inspection to see. Likewise, storm damage in our lives can be difficult for others to see. Are the damages listed below happening to your friend? If they’re occurring to you, can you help your friend understand?
A Personal Example
I've seen you walk.
Why are you in the chair?
I’m the one in the wheelchair. My granddaughter pushes me. My son walks beside me. Joe takes the picture. We’re touring Mt. Vernon.
When people see me in my wheelchair, they naturally assume I can’t walk. So when I get out and walk, others are - unsurprisingly - surprised. Since I can walk, why use the chair?
Walk with me a short distance and find out. First, I quickly begin slowing down. A little further along, I start limping. After that, I look for support. Then comes the “find a place to sit - fast - or fall down” stage. The chair allows me to tour with my family.
Now you see why, although I can walk, I use the chair: to accomplish more. Invisibly disabled problems can be understood by people who care enough to observe. Imagine yourself in your friend’s place and gain an appreciation for his life.
Invisibly Disabled Problems
Invisible disabilities are as varied as the people experiencing them. The unseen damage situations below apply to many suffering from neurological deficits. Other illnesses carry their unique damage.
They don’t see you when:
- You can’t swallow your pills
- You can’t open a jar when you’re fixing a meal
- You can start a job but not finish it
- Your frig needs cleaning but you can’t do anything about it
- Your husband has to put on your electrodes every morning and remove them every night
- You can’t play that board game with your grandkids because you hurt too much to sit
- You can’t go to that meeting because you’re too weak (and weak begets more weakness and muscle injuries)
They don’t understand when
- You have to choose between Facebook with your friends or keeping your (computerized) financial records
- You can’t go do something with them because your limited strength means you have to choose between being with them or doing essential work
- You don’t have the option of staying up a little later or of hurrying around to finish that task later because of choices made earlier
They can’t see when:
- You’re standing talking to them that your legs are getting shakier
- Your back muscles are painfully spasmed and could be injured if you can’t soon lie down
- You’re weak and in pain, but you’re trying hard to look good and not to pass your pain to others
- You’re trying to stand from your chair, but your body is weak and isn’t sure it can stand so you fall back because of weakness
Invisibly Disabled Problems Helped
For you caring observers out there, can you take the time and effort to get to know your friend well enough to recognize what her unseen damage is? If you’re really good friends, ask him questions - if he’s open to that. Or just observe her and notice her reactions in different situations. Above all, enjoy time with you friend allowing him to set the pace.
Can you share one problem you live with that is not readily apparent to others?
