Everybody needs help at some point. Disabled persons obviously can’t function without some aid. Those with invisible disabilities, too, often benefit from assistance. Helping physically challenged friends enables them to more easily participate in life. It can encourage them in their storms.
Who can help? Anyone!
What’s required? Compassion!
Our church held a Harvest Party, complete with costumes. At the time, fatigue and weakness constantly accompanied me, necessitating the use of my wheelchair. How can you wear a costume when you’re in a wheelchair? How can you make a costume when you’re so weak?
Enter my friends, Cathy, Ruth, & Karen. Unknown to me, they had created a cardboard cutout for the outside of each wheel; then they dressed in mechanics’ outfits. When I arrived, they attached the cutouts, gave me a helmet, and - voila! - we were transformed into a racing car, driver, and pit crew! Thank you, ladies, for a memorable party!
What Can You Do?
Assisting your friend can just take a little ingenuity and a small investment of time. Or, it can become as involved as you’re able.
Know this: any assistance you give your friend provides encouragement that someone cares. Of course, it also produces practical results.
CAVEAT:
Not all invisibly disabled people need or want help. Know your friend well enough to be sure he needs the help and will appreciate it. If the person is a new friend, ALWAYS ASK FIRST. Be considerate of her feelings. Even if you’re sure he needs the help, abide by his desires. Maybe you need to go slow, earn her trust, then offer help. You can always pray privately for someone.
Real life examples:
- Following Joe’s surgery, I really wanted to visit him in the hospital. A big problem, as I can’t drive. Our friend, Frank, provided rides for me.
- Housework has been problematic for me for several decades. In several of our churches, a woman would come a couple hours a week to help. Sure, Joe could do it, but then he would have had less time for his pastoral work. So, they not only helped me, they helped him. Thanks Judy in Medical Lake, Karen and Jen in Gold Beach, and many women in Ione, especially Cathy and Lois.
- A Bellevue, WA church built a Fragrance Free room designed especially for those with allergies to scents. Expensive? Yes. But now those people can get out of their houses and come worship with others.
Ideas
- Organize 4 people, each with 2 hours available to help once a month, to assist a friend with housekeeping, running errands, child care, or whatever. Then no one has to help more than once a month. Add more people and the frequency decreases even more.
- Apply the above to a full-time caregiver to allow respite time.
- When someone needs meals provided, our church uses the website, Take Them A Meal, where people can sign up to take a meal at a time convenient for them. It includes info about dietary needs and times meals are needed. This could be adapted when someone needs help on a long-term basis.
- When the spouse is working and the disabled person has a doctor visit but can’t drive, you could provide a ride. What if the person has therapy twice a week? Maybe a carpool could be organized. I know there are busses that come to your door, but that can get expensive. And what if the person tires too easily to ride the bus?
Following Up
The list could go on and on. It is limited only by your imagination as well as your available time or financial ability. The simplest thing is to keep in touch. A short phone call. A simple email. Even a visit in person. These tell your friend he is important. Maybe that’s her biggest need.
