January 1: a new beginning! Reflect on 2018! Anticipate 2019! Prepare for new adventures in this new year! Check out invisibly disabled people and New Year's resolutions
As we think back on this past year, let’s take a minute to recall the yucky stuff. I know, an unpleasant step. What’s not to our liking?
As we look forward to 2019, let's figure out what we can do to change.
As we work through these ideas, I'm going to get personal and be a real-life example.
I don't cope well with change! Unfortunately, in my situation change seems to be my middle name.
When I’m already fatigued and I drop something and it costs me an extra thirty seconds and a lot of extra energy to pick it up, too often I resort to whining. Especially at Joe, and it wasn’t his fault! He just happened to ask me something at the wrong time.
My husband has been a fantastic partner through these forty years of problems. He is incredibly supportive and understanding. Which makes it even more unreasonable for me to snap at him when something I'm trying to do goes wrong. Especially when it has nothing to do with him!
As invisibly disabled people, we have more physical problems than most. Coping can be difficult. But we still get excited about life.
So as we look forward with hope to this new year, let's take stock of the past, contemplate what’s possible to change, and make specific plans how to do it.
The problem I most want to resolve this year is to stop grumbling at Joe. However, what is your biggest problem area? Diet? Relationships? Finances? Attitude? Exercise? Examine the following strategy. Work through the steps. Then, by this time next year, you can look for the improvement in your chosen area.
So let's get started!
Help for coping better in 2019
Evaluate your responses to life
- Name one specific area you'd like to improve in.
- Mine is to stop snapping at Joe. It isn’t fair to him nor helpful to my emotional state.
Reflect on 2018
- What are you doing wrong? Or what precipitates the situation?
- I think frequently, if not mostly, it happens when I'm fatigued and trying to do something I probably shouldn't be.
- Secondarily, it happens when Joe speaks to me while I'm upset about something else. He has no reason to suspect I'm upset, though.
Anticipate 2019
- What outcome do you want?
- I would like to stop whining at Joe completely, but that probably isn't realistic. Too bad. So I would settle for cutting it down by 75%.
- What can you do differently?
- Seek to cut down the number of times I'm doing a little bit more than I should.
- Stop trying to do unrealistic activity.
- Realize I'm talking to Joe in a bad tone.
Plan for your change
- Name specific, measurable, realistic actions you can take.
- This is where it gets hard for me. Specific is easy, but measurable is more difficult. But I'll try.
- First, I'll design a chart using Excel. I should use columns for date, time, activity doing, how I felt, what precipitated the bad tone.
- Next, and harder, remember to fill out the chart.
- Lastly, figure out how to assign values to various aspects so I can evaluate how I'm doing.
- As time goes by, I will see progress--or lack thereof.
- This is where it gets hard for me. Specific is easy, but measurable is more difficult. But I'll try.
- Don't forget to periodically judge how you’re doing.
It is possible—theoretically, anyway—to change the way we cope. Diet and exercise can make us feel better, so it’s easier to cope. Improving finances relieves stress. Attitudes and relationships impact all parts of our lives. So, whatever you’re seeking to change should make coping easier.
Happy New Year and Happy Adventures to you all.
