Evelyn Reader, my sister-in-law, spent the last 13+ years invisibly disabled and in chronic pain. Prior to that, she was a wife and mother, spending time with friends and being active in church. She loved to make music, playing the piano and other instruments. Evelyn sewed for her girls and loved to make crafts. She slowly lost these abilities over the years but kept them up as long as possible. She never lost her love, though, for God and her family.
I have reprinted the tribute my brother Dave wrote for Evelyn. Hopefully, it will encourage you that chronic conditions do not have to stop us from living and loving.
L-R: Graduation. with Dave’s uncle. Wedding day. with Dave’s granddad.
L-R: front row-Evelyn Reader (in middle) with 2 daughters, back row-4 grandkids. 2 granddaughters. grandson.
Celebration?
Yeah man!
By Dave Reader
It may seem strange to celebrate life when someone dies, but for me to celebrate in the death of my wife, Evelyn, is very natural for many good reasons (which I want to share below). Please do not misunderstand, it is not celebration in the sense of a wild fun-filled party. There are many raw emotions and tears involved, but it is celebration in the sense that things are much better for the woman I have loved for 46 years.
First
First there is the basic fact that that she has had way more pain the last 13 years than anyone should have to go through. So it is a celebration in the simple fact she is no longer suffering a lot of pain.
But it really is so much more than that. Evelyn trusted in Jesus as her Savior when she was a young teenager. For those that have placed their trust in Jesus, the Bible clearly teaches of a wonderful place we go to when we leave this life behind. Of the pain Evelyn has lived with for so long, the Bible says “He will wipe away every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things is passed away.” Revelation 19:4. We see a glimpse of the beauty of heaven described in Revelation 19:11. “It shone with the glory of God, and its brilliance was like that of a precious jewel, like a jasper, clear as crystal”. She is in a way better place than she has ever known. That is reason to celebrate!
Comfort and assurance
Then there is the comfort and assurance of what I have stated above. Jesus himself said “In my Father’s house are many rooms; if it were not so I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.”
The Bible clearly tells us that when we die as believers, we go to be with the Lord (2 Corinthians 5:8). In John 23:43 Jesus said to the man on that cross that just asked Jesus to remember him, “I tell you the truth, today you shall be with me in paradise.” There are more but promises like these—from the most trustworthy person to ever walk this earth—have me firmly convinced that Evelyn is in heaven with Jesus and that this is better than anything you and I can ever imagine. This is a rock-solid reason to celebrate.
More reasons
Another reason to celebrate is the wonderful life I was given. To be with the beautiful woman I loved more than anyone else, for 46 years, was a gift I will never forget. Evelyn and I had an amazing life together filled with lots of laughs and fun. We have 2 beautiful daughters and they blessed us both many times over the years (even if there were a few moments…). We have 4 wonderful grandkids that again provided us with blessing after blessing. To not celebrate the great years we have had together would be a slap in the face to the woman I love. It is only right that I celebrate the awesome time I was allowed to share with Evelyn.
I have been blessed to share most of my life with Evelyn and she is in a place now with no more pain, and people she loves. The place she is now is better than anything I have ever seen. I am thankful and I do celebrate even in my sorrow of not being with her.
In Closing
Evelyn Reader is my second sister-in-law with invisible disabilities to pass away. See my tribute to Lynn Reader. Our family is grieving, but we grieve with hope.
If you know someone who was chronically ill and passed away whom you would like to honor, leave me a note on the contact page.
I’m so very, very sorry about Evelyn. The photos are wonderful and what your brother Dave (also the name of my brother) has written is incredibly touching. It feels uplifting, and yet devastating, in part because of what death means when there is so much pain or illness. It’s so bittersweet to celebrate the “simple fact she is no longer suffering a lot of pain”. And yet it was an end to a life lived and loved and cherished, with a family that obviously cared about her deeply. She sounds like she was an amazing woman, despite what pain she had to endure. 🌹
Caz xxxx
Thank you for those very kind words.